Friday, April 13, 2012

The Bus 2: The Busening

This one goes out to all you public transit drivers out there, you patient folks who see endless amounts of shit and crazy on a daily basis. You guys are truly doing some great work, and - no, I can't pretend to care anymore, because you are some vindictive-ass pieces. I know it, you know it, everyone who rides the bus knows it.

You know how I know it? Because I'm pretty sure neither the gas nor the brake pedals require the force and seething fury of a gorilla on PCP before they function properly. Look, I get it, you're tired of people. And it's probably The Most Fun to play passenger pinball when you've got folks standing in the aisles. But you know what else? This is a 60 foot articulated shitbox filled with cranky strangers, none of whom are keen on an intimate relationship between their face and the floor. And the most important thing to remember is that all these cranky strangers, well, we're the ones who cause the majority of your immediate problems. The more violent the stops and starts - and the more people who contract both leprosy and Hep C from contact with the bus floor - the more interesting (in the bad way) your day is likely to become. It takes very little to set off a crackhead. Or a blogger. Or a crackhead blogger. You want less shit and crazy? Drive like a fucking human being, ass.

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