The Yellow Cloud

Oh god. I can smell it. Creeping through the hallways, wafting under every closed door, spreading its sickly yellow chemical stench through the building. Infecting us all. Why did you do it? Why the fuck did you have to make microwave popcorn?

Microwave popcorn, much like a baby or a stalker shrine, is something you make in the privacy of your own home. You don't bring that shit with you to work! Don't do it! I don't care how much you feel like you need your afternoon synthetic grease bloat and enough sodium to give a horse a stroke. No judgement on those cravings, but seriously, if that's what you want then spread some margarine on a salt lick and go to town. If you force your fucking disgusting life habits into my nostrils one more time I will break the microwave. THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE THINGS, YOU RUINER.