Wednesday, April 11, 2012

No Lomo

In a shockingly sort of topical turn of events, I have major issues with Instagram. Well, not Instagram proper. And no, not with Facebook's acquisition; they can throw away their billions on shitty companies as much as they want. I have major issues with Instagram because that goddamn app is rapidly convincing everyone that they're Ansel fucking Adams.

What's that? You took a picture of your Cheetos 'cause you're bored? Well slap a fucking LOMO FILTER on it and call it a day! It's art! Look at your one man show, it's the best! You are OUR generation's Cezanne! Oh my god, is that your cat? Show me more, but preferably in sepia and with blurred edges! I can't take you seriously if it's just a quick phone snap!

WHAT IS WRONG WITH EVERYONE? YOU ARE STILL JUST AS BAD AT PHOTOGRAPHY AS YOU EVER WERE. You still have no talent, and putting your image through its digitized paces isn't going to change that. I am literally 0% interested in that ugly flower you shot. The amount of fucks I give about your grainy, dimly lit, poorly composed plate of - what, toddler feces? I can't even tell since you used so many filters - is none. None fucks. Your life is not compelling. Your art is not art. Put down the iPhone and stop being a piece of shit.


  1. hi long time reader, first time commenter. can you go further into detail about how people with iphones are pieces of shit? i really like that.

    1. Yeah, I've got plenty more self-loathing to share.

  2. I like it when people accidentally drop their iPhone, though sometimes it would be easier to just knock it out of their hands and run. Cracked screens on others' phones is very appealing.

    Also, it's a bit annoying that there's not a way to edit a comment on here to remove a typo without deleting it and thus leaving a dried up exoskeleton comment behind. I should have just left it saying "I like it when people drop accidentally drop their iPhone" because I really, really like it. Drop^2.

  3. Apparently I have the power to delete it forever. Forever-ever.